Something that isnвЂ™t too easy to talk to real humans about. Or maybe - like me - you want to address something difficult, perhaps something even traumatic. Maybe you want a centuries-old vampire to finally declare his love (like anywhere on the internet, you will find Twilight fanfiction here). Maybe you want the cute guy from work to take you on a first date (вЂњyou look stunning in that dress.

You can find any scenario you want there (and in the rare event you canвЂ™t find your fantasy, you can request a recording on the forum, or commission your favourite artist). Relationship roleplay libraries on Reddit - like Pillow Talk Audio or Vanilla Audio - are like Г la carte menus for intimate relationships.

If I turned out the lights and slipped on my headphones, an entire chorus of imaginary boyfriends could provide this service for me. I didnвЂ™t have to risk dates with real, fleshy, unpredictable humans. But it wasnвЂ™t until I discovered relationship roleplay audios that I felt I truly turned a corner.ДЄt the click of the button, my I-want-love-but-IвЂ™m-too-scared-to-try dilemma seemed solved. TheyвЂ™re all made in the hopes of triggering your Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response (ASMR) - a relaxing, even euphoric sensation that most describe as pleasant вЂњtinglesвЂќ at the crown of the head, proven to slow heart rates, soothe anxiety, and assist listeners as study or sleeping aids.ДЄSMR has long been a beloved, well-used tool in my trauma recovery arsenal - the soft voices and caring words that are hallmarks of ASMR arenвЂ™t too different to techniques that therapists use, and it gets me sleep better than a sleeping pill. To unaccustomed eyes and ears, these videos often come off as a bit weird, kinky or even gross - but even though fans call them вЂњbraingasmsвЂќ, ASMR isnвЂ™t inherently sexual (at least, not usually). Relationship roleplay is an off-shoot of ASMR - that wildly popular YouTube trend where vloggers whisper into binaural microphones. I discovered these audios by pure happy accident. вЂњI love you,вЂќ these disembodied dulcet voices whisper, somewhere unknown across the globe. More often than not, they will pretend to be your significant other. Your best friend, your parent, your therapist, your teacher - anyone you want. On certain corners of the internet - mostly Reddit forums - you can find thousands of audios by mostly anonymous creators, all pretending - through one-sided, pre-recorded roleplays - to be someone who truly cares for you. So imagine my relief - and delight - when I discovered relationship roleplay audios. It was my Catch-22: how could I practise intimacy, without actually experiencing intimacy? ItвЂ™s a difficult, daunting knot to undo, no matter how desperately you might want to. Deep closeness with others feels inherently unsafe - you worry that trust is just naivety, and that naivety will inevitably lead you to the slaughter. After a trauma, intimacy can get all tangled up with associations of pain and fear, cauterising your ability to connect with others.

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